You Have Only to Know You!

Deepshika: Swamiji, when you were saying that the pairs of opposites are contained in Oneness, it led me to think and to want to ask you a question. Don’t we do this work with the sense of expectation that the sense of agitation, which could be considered one of the pairs of opposites, will not be there and will be transformed into the state of ease? 

Swamiji: Since agitation was never there in the beginning, therefore the way that we made agitation, in the same way we will unmake it.

Deepshika: We made agitation unconsciously.

Swamiji: Unconsciously means that Consciousness was not there, but it cannot happen that Consciousness was not there. So we never made it unconsciously. We made agitation with some consciousness with which somebody came to know that he's agitated. Right? That is the Oneness part. It can remain aware of agitation and of no agitation, because that is only Awareness. When Awareness is lost, then there is agitation. So the Self is actually Awareness. This can be grasped by a human being, because he is totally Awareness. But he doesn’t call himself Awareness; he calls himself bones, cloth, hair, and many things. When he will come to know, which means his ability will unfold, that it is all Awareness, then there will be no such thing for him that agitation is separate, that the waves and ocean water are separate. No, he will know it's all water, it's all Awareness.

Deepshika: So, the body consciousness can be agitated, and the Awareness remains unagitated.

Swamiji: Yes, yes. As long as body consciousness arises, agitation is felt. Then the same Awareness, which has become agitation, grasps agitation and is aware of its own unagitated state. So, it wants to go to the original one — that attracts him. Thus, the work goes on.

Deepshika: That's exactly what I’d been feeling when I did my course. It was amazing to see how before I left I had said to you something like, “I’m afraid of losing my awareness and getting, as if, caught in the kind of illusory grandeur of being a homeopath or of being a worldly person.” Because I didn’t really know what that was like, I had the fantasy that I wanted, in a way, to be like them. But when I was with those people, the most amazing thing that I came to see was I had actually never been worldly. That was really inspiring when I was there. I was so looking forward to coming back, because I thought, “I’m so not of the world and never have been.” Yet it's amazing to see how the mind always creates a fantasy of what's not in front of it. Now, as soon as I’m back, now I’m thinking — I mean, not quite like this but because I feel somewhat uneasy or something — “Oh, I’m also not fit for this.” So, I’m always as if in between two worlds: I know I can’t do that, but here I feel a sense of uneasiness or doubt.

Swamiji: You are never in-between, never in agitation, never in an agitated state. You are in the state of Freedom: That is You. That's what I try to make people hear, that you have only to know You. And you can know it only when you are awake. In deep sleep, you will not know it. When you are awake there is difficulty, as if this waking state does not know — but this is your concept. The waking state knows I’m talking to you; you think I am talking to your body. But you know I’m actually talking to You. So it is not that you do not know it. You have to come to know by now that, “For all these thirty-two years, he is actually talking to Me. And I’m thinking he's talking to Dikpal, he's talking to Gayatri.” Gayatri and Dikpal are bodies for them, and that is what Me is not. You think like that, that Me is the body. It is such a strong belief that Me is the body, even when I’m talking to You, always talking to You. That's why I’m free, because I’m not talking to anybody else but the Self. Yet as the listener, your side is so strongly established in the body. You think that Rebecca had gone to England, Rebecca thought of that, Rebecca came, and that Rebecca is I. But I never talk to you, I talk to Deepshika. Deepshika is not the body, Deepshika is not a name, it is Awareness. Even if Deepshika is extinguished, Awareness does not die. That's what we are. I say this, and you have the capacity to understand. That's why I say it. But I say it to You. But you have made your Self this you. Therefore, you understand by That, but you interpret by this. Yes.

Deepshika: There's always that resistance, which I can see when you unmix it like that, but then…

Swamiji: In a snake, we are seeing a rope. It is indescribable, but you are finding out the description of why someone sees a snake when it is rope. He says, “I’m seeing a snake.” You say, “No, no, you are really seeing a rope.” He says no, he resists your statement and its meaning, because he sees like that. That's called ignorance. It has many names — vaasanaa, kaamanaa, mind, and so on — but it's a type of consciousness. That type of consciousness will not remain. For example, in Delhi there is pollution and in this orchard there isn’t. Now, how is pollution understood over there and no pollution is understood over here? We don’t analyze — that gas, that car, that CNG [Compressed Natural Gas]. Now there are CNG buses, which won’t create pollution, so it's all happening. They’re making roads, an underground, all sorts of things, and their attention is that people should not die of pollution. But some years later, you’ll find that those who are thinking this will also die. It's just certain, we know it. We are not dumb, we all know what is what. Yet, we knowingly don’t want to accept it. Some people are like that. They think, “Well, he says I’m agitated, but I’m forever Free” — then Rebecca is Free. She does not resist at that time, even if it might appear to her to be wrong. If Mummy says, “This is A, this is B, this is C,” the child says, “Well look, why should I resist? I should say A, B, C, and then I’ll see what happens.” You become liberated with ABC — Absolute Bliss Consciousness. You get it.

This resistance is due to ignorance. It just comes by itself. This is not a description — it is understood only when it goes away. Like you, you were gone, you came, and you found me just the same. You had gone, and I had not become anything else but that which I am. You came, we had a little bit of a ho-ho, a welcome, that too, not much, and I am just the same. You are talking; it's just the same. And I’m knowing that it is a particular niyati [blueprint, destiny] that you have. Philippa has a different niyati. You are both from New Zealand, but it does not mean that both are just the same. You are just different.

Deepshika: Sometimes I wish my niyati wasn’t so intense.

 Swamiji: That's why we are doing this work. We’ll continue living life and we’ll always think that our niyati should be as good as that of Swamiji [laughter]. There must be someone who should represent That. But I know that my niyati is not very special, it's everybody's niyati. Whatever you are, so I am. You are fat, I am fat. You are thin, I am thin. You are feeling bad, I’m feeling bad. If you’re feeling sick, I’m feeling sick. If you’re feeling happy, I’m feeling happy. Just the same — because Awareness can never become two. That is what you are. Waves come and go, and that makes you ask these questions. Thank you.

Deepshika: Asking you, I always feel more at peace. I remember you had once said, “A real teacher is one who doesn’t talk but can bring the words and awareness out of someone else.” My lecturers just talked. When they were not giving a lecture, they weren’t even interested in seeing us at all. So, not only do you lecture, you also bring the Awareness out in us.

Swamiji: It happens, so we began to call it a real teacher. But I’m not real [laughter]. Thank you very much, you are just lovely.

26 July 2001